Subject: Self-introduction 

Dear Professor Brad,

I am writing this email to introduce myself to you. My name is Li MingYu. I am a year one telematics student. I have graduated from Pioneer Junior College and my subject combinations are Mathematics, Physics, Chemistry and Economics. 

Personally, I enjoy solving problems related to mathematics and physics. Choosing telematics enables me to continue studying what I like. Also, I have great passion towards programming. I am keen in trying out programming but I do not have adequate amount of knowledge on programming.  Therefore, I hope to further my studies in this field to broaden my knowledge on programming. 

In terms of communication, I think that my strength is that I am confident in public speaking. There is one compulsory subject named Project Work in every Junior College. This subject requires student to do presentation in front of the class very often. This experience allowed me to improve my presentation skills and also reduce my fear of public speaking. 

Regarding the weakness for communication, I feel that I am lacking in confidence to share my opinions with the others. In a team, sharing different perspectives and views may lead to conflict easily. When there is a group discussion, I will always choose to become a follower instead of giving my own ideas. Hence, one of my goals in this module is to be able to deliver my personal opinions to other people confidently and appropriately. This may help to further boost the quality of teamwork and reduce the conflict among group mates. 

Another goal that I hope to achieve is being concise and clear when communicating. It is important to bring the key message across efficiently, especially during the group discussion. I want to improve my language such as proper usage of grammar and widen my vocabulary, so that I can speak correctly and clearly. 

I believe that communication is essential in our daily lives and I hope that I will enhance my communication skills in this module. 

Best regards,

Li MingYu

Comments

  1. UnknownSeptember 18, 2018 at 8:30 AM

    Hi Ming yu,

    It was pleasant reading your email and knowing more about you. There was an abundance of information about your strengths, weakness and goal for the course. A really well-written email format.

    The paragraphs were spread out neatly and were well organised which allows the recipient to take in the information at a comfortable sight. The email were able to clearly show the high command of English which you possess.

    However, I would like to point out in the 1st paragraph "I am writing this email to introduce myself to you". Since the recipient would know that you are introducing yourself by reading the content of the email, there is no need to include "to you" as it will be repetitive.

    Overall, the whole email was written neatly and concisely.

    Content - 9/10
    Language Use - 9/10
    Organisation - 9/10

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. UnknownSeptember 25, 2018 at 7:51 AM

      Dear Amos,

      Thank you for reading and commenting on my email. I really appreciate your constructive feedback. I will improve on these areas.

      I look forward to see you in class every Wednesday.

      Regards,

      MingYu

      Delete
  2. UnknownSeptember 18, 2018 at 9:02 AM

    Pleasure to know more about you. The content is great but it can be further elaborate on your interests to make your email more interesting with a wow factor. The structure and organisation is well written.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. UnknownSeptember 25, 2018 at 7:48 AM

      Dear Luna,

      Thank you for commenting on my email. I really appreciate your feedback. I will take note of elaborating my interests.

      I look forward to see you in class every Wednesday.

      Regards,

      MingYu

      Delete
  3. UnknownSeptember 18, 2018 at 9:26 AM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. UnknownSeptember 23, 2018 at 8:34 AM

      Dear Ming Yu,

      Your letter is generally well written and elaborated. After reading through, I really like your passion towards learning and determination of trying out new skills like programming. I also like how you connects your weakness in communication directly to your goals.

      One minor error which I felt should change is the phrase “subject named Project Work”.
      You should not capitalise project work even though it is a subject unless it happens to be a language for instance.

      I look forward to know you more in class.

      Regards,
      Evan

      Delete
    2. UnknownSeptember 25, 2018 at 7:56 AM

      Dear Evan,

      Thank you for reading and commenting on my email. I really appreciate your constructive feedback. I will be careful of the capitalization in the future.

      I look forward to see you in class every Wednesday.

      Regards,

      MingYu

      Delete
  4. Brad BlackstoneSeptember 28, 2018 at 8:09 PM

    Dear Mingyu,

    Thank you for well developed intro letter. I enjoyed learning about your background and interests, in particular, the passion you have for STEM. You'll be right at home in this programme. You also elaborate well on aspects of your communication, and I appreciate how you tie the discussion of a weakness to a module goal.

    Though this post presents a clear and concise response to the assigned task, there are a couple minor language issues, which can be summed up as these:

    1. overuse of capitals
    -- ...my subject combinations are Mathematics, Physics, Chemistry and Economics. >>>

    2. repetition
    -- I am keen in trying out programming but I do not have adequate amount of knowledge on programming. >>> (How can you eliminate using programming twice? You also finish with this sentence: Therefore, I hope to further my studies in this field to broaden my knowledge on programming.)

    Overall, this is a fine effort. I look forward to reading more of your writing.

    Cheers,

    Brad

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. UnknownOctober 6, 2018 at 3:31 AM

      Dear Professor Brad, 

      Thank you for reading and commenting on my email. I really appreciate your constructive feedback. I will be careful of the capitalization and sentence structure. 

      I look forward to attending your class every Wednesday.

      Regards,

      MingYu

      Delete
  5. Musfirah LatiffOctober 2, 2018 at 5:05 AM

    Dear Ming Yu,

    I enjoyed reading your email. I really like how everything flows and interconnected with each other which shows how well-written your email is. Overall, your email is short and concise, thus, easy to read.

    I hope to see you in class soon.

    Yours sincerely,
    Musfirah Binte Latiff

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. UnknownOctober 6, 2018 at 3:33 AM

      Dear Firah, 

      Thank you for reading and commenting on my email. I really appreciate your feedback.

      I look forward to see you in class every Wednesday.

      Regards,

      MingYu

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Personal Reflection

Through this journey in communication, I think that I have learnt more about effective communication. During the lesson on every Wednesday, I was able to have a chance to interact with my classmates. For the group project, I was able to share some of my personal opinions with my group members. Also, I have learnt more about the proper usage of language, such as the use of comma to separate independent clauses in a sentence. For the oral presentation, I found out that the way to reduce my fear of public speaking is to practice speaking in front of the audience as often as possible. Even though there was only a short period of time for the preparation of presentation, my group had practiced a lot in order to give a good presentation.  Being an audience for the showcase, I really enjoyed myself. This showcase allowed me to understand how to give an effective presentation. The six teams had prepared well before the presentation and I could feel the hard work and effort that t...
Read more

Summary (Draft 1)

According to Yuen Sin (2017),  the compact Smart StethoScope is a device invented by three students from Nanyang Polytechnic (NYP).  This small device is wearable and allows users with cardiovascular diseases to monitor their hearts for abnormal sounds at home without any medical understanding. This could save the lives of patients whose heart conditions might not have been detected during medical appointments. It can collect data on heart sounds and the heart electrical activity. The data is then uploaded into a machine learning model on a cloud server that will process it and identify abnormal heart sounds. Users are only required to wear it for around five minutes per day to record their heart conditions and the saved data will be secured. This device is affordable as it only takes $30 to produce it. Doctors are able to monitor their patients’ health through this device more easil y. Yuen Sin(2017), Straitstimes.  https://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/education/wear...
Read more